A Word About My Healthy Lifestyle

I have been trying to lose weight since I was 13 years old. I have had mild success throughout the years, being able to lose 15 lbs in junior high and 30lbs in high school, but in between gaining 10 lbs each year.

Between the ages of 12 (When I stopped growing in height) to 22, I gained about a hundred pounds. I'm not sure what I weighed prior to 12 years old but I was wearing size 16 in teen sizes. (Which is plus size, but I was definitely slender for the most part). If I had to guess, I probably weight about 170lbs coming into junior high.

My weight gain began in the seventh grade after my parents split up. I had no type of balance to my diet and only trace amounts of exercise outside of my PE class. I struggled with depression and didn't know how to handle my emotions. This behavior and attitude persisted through high school. I had tried losing weight several times in between there, every time using the Atkins lo/no-carb, high-fat diet. 

When I got to be a senior in high school, we were calculating our BMI in science class and I came to the realization that I was up to 250 pounds. I was devastated and disgusted. These negative feels about myself motivated me to shed 30 pounds in one month. I felt great! I bought new clothes and weight about 220lbs.

The success didn't last. 

Upon getting off the Atkins diet, I not only gained the 30 pounds back but gained an additional 44 pounds in 5 years, putting me at a resounding 294 pounds. 

I stood on the scale and could not believe what I saw. Never ever in my life did I think I would be 300 pounds. I always felt like I was chubby and thick and that was just a reality, but 300 pounds, in my mind, crossed a line. 

I was ashamed and disgusted. I was addicted to starchy, sugary, delicious food and hated working out because it was a constant reminder of how unhealthy and out of shape I was. I was embarrassed using the treadmill at the gym because I could only jog 3 minutes at 5 mph before reaching my limit.

Even lifting weights was sad.

I was at the end of my rope. I didn't love my body and I hated the way I felt. Even sitting down was uncomfortable for me.

So how did I get from this struggling woman to the path I'm on now?

Jesus.

I had struggled with addictions before and I knew the only way the break this one was through the power given to me through Christ. Yes, the food addiction was a chemical one but there was more to it than that. I met with Gloria from my church for my second ever Sozo. I mentioned that I wanted healing for my attachment to food so we dove in to it. 

We asked the Holy Spirit when my attachment to food began. He showed me that it began when I was young girl. Growing up my mother was (and still is) a fantastic cook. We were taught that when we ate it had to be a home cooked meal with sides and an entree. The idea of our family eating TV dinners was preposterous in out house. So what was ingrained in my brain growing up is this: Food must be tasty. 

This is a lie.

Now that we knew the lie, out next step was to ask God what His truth was. What He told me was this: Food is our stewart. Food was sent here to serve us and not control us. Food does not HAVE to taste good.

I asked God to break the stronghold of food over my life. And to replace the lie with His truth. I asked God to show me who I was in His eyes. My value to Him has nothing to do with my weight or anything else I could control. In His eyes I was perfect. With that being said, He has great plans for me that will be achieved in a healthier frame. Plans to prosper me.

Once I had the correct mindset, the time for the hard work had arrived.

My roommate Ana ate according to the Paleo diet and my friend Jessica recommended the Couch to 5K App. Knowing nothing about diet or exercise I decided to just do those two things.

My average meal plan looked like this:

• Omlete or scrambled eggs for breakfast
• Salad with boiled egg, bacon, and balsamic vinaigrette for lunch
• Two pieced of backed Chicken for lunch
• Kielbasa for snack
• Chicken for dinner with a side of veggies

My average work out plan looked like this:

• Couch to 5K Mon/Wed/Frid
• Power Walking Tue/Thur
• Trading off power walking and rollerblading here and there

This is how I lost my first 56 lbs.

I was feeling great! And also not so great. 

I felt lighter on my feet but struggled with some health implications. I was CONSTANTLY thirsty. Had chapped lips. And would have leg cramps at least a handful of times a week. To this day I don't know what the cause of it was. Jamison, my friend, looked into it and said that people on the Paleo diet would often have similar issues.

I struggled through this for about 7 months when I decided to make a change. My good friend Dr. Lisa recommended a book to me that she and her two daughters stuck to, called Living Well Naturally by Anthony Sattilaro. It's a book from the 1980's about a man who cured his cancer by changing his diet and developing a relationship with God. Great book! On top of that I started reading more books and internet articles on diet/health and types of exercise. 

There are SO MANY different types of diets and each book/article has such conflicting ideas. I have found that trying to find the "right" diet can be a lot like trying to find the "right" political party. Just like each political party will tell you that they are the most correct option, diet plans will go into great detail not only why their diet is the best but also why every other diet is wrong.

This can be very disheartening. Especially for the average Joe who knows nothing about diet and health. But instead of being discouraged, I decided to enter into a testing phase. 

I am currently in said testing phase where I'm trying to figure out what is best for my body. There are probably better ways to have a testing phase where you journal and take notes and track things, but basically I just try something and then make mental notes of how I feel and how it affects my weight loss.

I've gone through cutting red meat, cutting back on carbs, cutting back on fat, cutting dairy and so on and so on. I've had various success but for the time being but I am currently following a 98% Vegan diet and a Jogging/Cardio/Strength workout plan that looks like this:

Diet:

• Steel Cut Oatmeal for breakfast
• Refried beans and/or rice, salad, entree (roasted veggies, veggie burgers, tofu/veggie stir fry), and fruit for dessert (usually an apple)
• Different variation of lunch for dinner (usually also sweet potatoes instead of beans/rice)
• If try not to snack but if I can't control myself I'll eat an apple, peanut butter, or raw nuts (cashews, pecans, or almonds)

Exercise

• Couch to 5k Mon/Wed/Fri
• Jillian Michaels Tue/Thur
• Sprint Mile Tue/Thur/Sat
• Hacky sack between my classes
• I try to save one day (usually Sunday) for something really light like yoga or stretching 

But there is more to my journey!

I have not been consistently losing weight. I lost little to no weight in the month of October. There were several times where I would fall off the wagon (ask my roommates and boyfriend who can tell you all about it) and my go-to junk foods would be pizza and cookies. Some times I would binge for a few days or only go a day or two before falling off again. In fact, it's January 7th and yesterday I started with just one cookie and ended up eating 5 cookies, a smores sandwich, Hershey's Graham Crackers Sticks with chocolate dip, and two Poptarts. 

It happens!

I wondered what I was doing differently that was slowing my success. What was different? I turned back to Jesus.

Jesus, what do you want for me and my body?

After some intercession I heard from The Lord. He told me that he wanted my healthy body to be a reflection of my health. That above all else, he wanted me to pursue health in my relationship with HIm.

So I started a new regime that invited Jesus into the process. Every morning I read a chapter in Proverbs (there are 30 chapters so I read whichever chapter of the day of the month it is) I listen to worship and pray for my day. Each night before bed I journal, and do some intercession.

(I'm still working on structure for my prayer/intercession time. I'm working on making prayer lists and scheduling prayer time based on Mike Bickles sermon about developing the inner man. It's easy the first few times but once you get into the thick of it, it gets very mundane and chore-like but it makes a huge impact in your life.)

Getting into this Intimacy Regime and improving my spiritual health had a great impact on my physical health and well as my mental health. Learning to love myself and love my body started early in my health journey and has turned into something I have to walk myself through nearly every day.

I'm trying to cut back on my habit of pinching and poking my flabby areas because I feel like I'm communicating to myself that I am gross. It's still something I'm struggling with.

I've recently starting dating a wonderful Christian man which has added an even newer struggle of trying to keep my weight loss focused on God and my testimony and not based on what I think my boyfriend wants to see. Fortunately I had my mind set straight in the beginning so I'm not having to train myself out of those thoughts, and more am just needing to deflect them.

I have lost a total of 87lbs and currently weight 210 pounds. I am smaller than I was in most of high school and am approaching junior high weight! My mile is at 8:35 and I can do 3 miles on the treadmill easy. I can lift more and longer and sleep and wake easier. I sit more comfortably and I worship more freely. It's easy for me to mention that I am beautiful and cute and attractive and I feel like I can confidently call myself athletic. 

My goals for the future include:

• Losing at least 30/40 more pounds (or whatever puts me at a healthy, tones weight)
• Get my mile down to 8 minutes by May
• I want abs
• I want to be able to do 10 full push ups by May
• I want to be able to do 5 pull ups by 2016
• I want to be a size 9 dress size by 2016

When I started my journey I told myself that if I could just get down to 210 I would be happy. Now, I AM happy but I realize that I can achieve whatever health goals I can imagine. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! I want to reach the epitome of health, strength, and endurance and there is nothing in this world that can stop me.

I hope you can feel encouraged by my story. I'm always happy to share my tactics and plans on what I've done and what I'm currently doing in detail. But please know that my testimony and success are non-existent without Jesus. I tried for years and years to get to be where I am today. It wasn't until I got things straight with God that I saw any lasting success.

Here are some progress photos!

Here Is Where I'm at Now

Soooo, I just have at a great talk with the lovely Jazzmin. It was great. After talking to her I came to a confession: I am an addict.

My lifestyle is getting super out of hand. To the point where I'm started to get worried about my health. I have absolutely no motivation to diet and exercise. I want to want to but I just can't muster it up.

I hate being uncomfortable and all that stuff is super uncomfortable.

I think I'm to the point where I seriously need to go to a rehab or something. A place where failing won't even be an option. I hear so many stories of success stories and tips and I take note and I try everything and yet, here I am. The same person before but heavier.

This lack of self motivation also trickles over into my social and personal life as well. I am not motivated to clean or rehearse or practice or take care of my responsibilities. I don't know how one gets this? I suppose it would be to leave myself no option but to not fail. To move out? Having to rely on only myself to get things done instead of my mother.

Another obstacle I face is my diet. For a while I was buying my own groceries and trying to eat better but my family was still eating whatever and they would bring me stuff like fast food and starches and it would kill me.

I am so stuck. I feel so useless. I feel like a failure. I want so bad to be thin and healthy. I would have more acting opportunities and I would feel better overall.

What do I do?

I'm not sure if I need motivational words or what...

I think would I need is a person who is willing to dedicate to this with me. Someone who I could see very often. (Several times a week) To eat and exercise with. Someone who won't let me take failure as an answer.

I pray consistently and I stay the same. My heart and motivation stay the same.

Lord, save me.

I've lost a few pounds!

Just found out that I've lost about 3 pounds :D
It's not a lot, but it's good considering that I've had so many bad days and I haven only exercised twice in 3 weeks!

... Well that's really all! Haha, I'm just a bit excited now. It may be only 3 measly pounds but in a about a week it'll be 3 more measly pounds... then the next week it'll be 3 more. And the 3 more, and 3 more! And I'll have lost 12 pounds! I'm also thinking about taking an exercising class when school starts so who know's how fast I'll be dropping the pounds then.

Well, have a good day! Hope you guys are losing too!

Entering into Week Three

I'm starting to think that my blog isn't very motivating because I've been doing so horrible! But I don't want to quit. I used to go on so many diet and every time I would slip up I would just give up. But like the Toby Mac song that I posted in my blog a few days ago, I'm going to just keep getting back up again! I don't care if I fail a thousand times! It'll only make my victory that much sweeter.

So these past two days have probably been the worst yet. I have eaten so many sweets and greasy foods. I went to Buca di Beppo and had a HUGE bowl of pasta. I got the left-overs boxed up and I finished it at home. Then today, I went to Chipotle and had a giant burrito. (Healthier than most fast-food places but still wasn't good for me.)

BUT, in doing so I experienced my first "Man I wish I would have stayed on my diet" feeling. After I got home from Buca di Beppo I was so gassy and bloated. I felt full and disgusting. I got bad heart burn and I just over all felt awful. I have been doing decent for the past handful of days and so eating all this greasy food did not go over well for me. I hadn't realized how eating healthier and smaller portions had made me feel better. I probably haven't lost any weight, but I would like to weight myself. I'll have to go to a gym or something though because my scale is out of batteries.

But I got paid and went shopping today! I got: apples, pears, bananas, edemame beans, raw chicken, 100% whole wheat bread, whole wheat pasta, fat free yogurt, and raw salad. I hope that is enough for me not to cheat!

Also, I haven't been keeping up with my exercising either :( But tomorrow I'm going to do my walking! I have a food plan, but I think I need to educate myself more on weight managing exercise! Any one have any links to information on that?

*Tips: Have a PLAN for your diet. Especially for losing weight. I used to have it in my head that I would just "cut out" things and start losing weight. But the truth of the matter is there is a healthy balance that your body needs! Sugar get's such a bad rep, but your body needs stuff like that in the right proportions. So I insist that you go to https://www.choosemyplate.gov/SuperTracker/myplan.aspx and follow the default plan, or better yet sign up and make your own unique plan based on size and desired weight like I did!

*Inspiration: This girl got tired of being overweight and decided to take her health into her own hands. Just like you and me, she devised a plan and failed many times until she found the plan that worked for her. Now she's working on a book to motivate young adults to get healthy! You can check out her blog at http://undressedskeleton.tumblr.com/

I'm praying for you people out there trying to get healthy! I inspired my mom to start eating healthy too, so now I have someone to help keep me accountable and to cook yummy food for me :)

Bad Day!

Today was probably the worst day that I've had yet! I woke up at like 2 and I went straight to a meeting and then straight from the meeting to a memorial service at my church. At the meeting they had trays and trays FULL of cakes and cookies... it was only a matter of time before I lost it and had like FIVE of them. Then I had another on my way home :'(

On top of that I didn't get a chance to work out and I only ate a salad and two hard boiled eggs ;_;
We ran out of fruit so I didn't consume any fruit or any grains today. I had a slice of turkey in salad so I had a little protein.


I keep getting these thoughts that I should just quit and that I'm always going to be fat and when school starts I'm not going to be able to control myself. I keep lookinf for excuses like on New Years I was like 'Come on! It's NEW YEARS. No one would blame me if I just skipped today." And today at the memorial I was like 'It's a friggin memorial. I think I should be fine."

I just really don't want to give up this time. I want THIS to be the time where I actually was fully committed and it changed my life. And I could lose 100 pounds and I would get cast in to play and I could meet a boy and I could feel fit.

My mom thinks that the only way that I'm gonna lose weight is on the Atkins. So let me ask you guys: have you reaped benefits from exercising often and having a balanced diet? And not some special diet...

My Plate!

Okay. So finally things are CLEAR. I went to choosemyplate.gov and it made me a meal plan and I also mapped out my daily exercise.

Mean Plan: 2200 calories a day.
(Although I think I may do 2000)
Grain: 7 ounces
Veggies: 3 cups
Fruits: 2 cups
Dairy: 3 cups
Protein: 6 ounces
Oils: 6 teaspoons

And you can also plan your exercises for the week as well! So here's my exercise plan. (Dance is this dance aerobics DVD we've had for years but barely opened today)

Sunday-Church!
Monday: Walk-25mins
Tuesday: Skate-20mins
Wednesday: Dance-30mins
Thursday: Skate-20mins
Friday: Dance-30mins
Saturday: Walk-25mins

I got the more difficult, higher impact activities sandwiched in the middle. I'll be less reluctant to work out the first day of the week if I know it's just walking.

I was on pinterest browsing through all the cute clothes and I found motivation to keep going. I'm gonna look so cute in those clothes when I get down to a size 10!

Inspiration: A second on the lips, an eternity on the hips. Are you really gonna let FOOD stop you from fitting into those cute jeans? Overcome the first 3 weeks and the rest of it will just be habit!

Hitting A Wall

I'm getting to the point where I'm so sick of this food that I'd rather not eat than eat healthy -_-

I did exercise lightly today though! I popped in a dance aerobics DVD and did it for about 20ish minutes. I kinda felt like it was a cheating exercise because I wasn't running and I wasn't exhausted after but it's a start. I would like to start rollerblading again.

Today I had a banana, a pear, 2 egg sandwiches on whole grain, some raw cashews, and a salad with onions, tomatoes, avocado, and ranch dressing.

Probably shouldn't have had the bread but I was so hungry.

So I definitely need some more recipes. Because I am getting tired of this food. I wonder when in going roster shedding these pounds??

What are some exercises that you guys have been doing?